Arguments with loved ones are never enjoyable. Breaking down the "he said she said" can help us look inwards and find more effective ways to communicate our needs. Take a few slow, deep breaths and jump in! # Write down exactly what the other person said during the argument. Be brief. Then, list the emotions the other person might have been feeling. Sad... Angry... Anxious... Guilty... Inferior... Lonely... Embarrassed... # Write down exactly what you said next. Then, list the emotions you were feeling. Sad... Angry... Anxious... Guilty... Inferior... Lonely... Embarrassed... > [!info] Examine Communication Effectiveness > Examine your response to the other person and ask if it was an example of good or bad communication using the acronym EAR: Empathy, Assertiveness, and Respect. # Did you acknowledge or ignore the other person's feelings? Did you express your feelings openly and directly? Was your attitude respectful and caring? I acknowledge... I ignored... I expressed my feelings... My attitude was... > [!info] Examine Communication Effectiveness > Next, ask yourself how your response affected the other person. It can be painful to look inwards at your own role in the problem. Keep going! # How did it make the other person feel? What did they say next? Did your response make the problem better or worse? They likely felt... They said... It made the problem... # Finally, how can you revise your response using more empathy, assertiveness, and respect? I feel that... I can understanding why you are feeling... Can you tell me more about... I know you are trying hard to...